Muppets

It's been a long 25 years or so since they were the number one show across the world and that kind of infamy has a price to pay as its hard to live a more ordinary life in the public eye once you've scaled the dizzying heights of A list stardom. I did a little bit of investigative journalism and looked into what our old furry friends are up to now.

Those of a fragile emotional attachment to their youth should probably stop reading now.

Kermit lives in a one bed Pad in Manhattan. Its on Broadway but not the bright lighted end as one might imagine, but the lower half where his small corner apartment, bought with his last big royalty check, overlooks the Washington Square Park where he likes to stare down at the fake watch sellers and the shady drug deals going down in the shadows of late night New York.

His outgoing nature sadly faded with the death of his partner and long time collaborator Jim, and he now cuts a reclusive and disenfranchised character as he sits in his dimly lit apartment in his tatty lazyfrog chair, flicking through the pages of Variety magazine to see who from the old circuit has passed away.

He now passes through the busy streets with minimal interruption, as the flashing bulbs of yesteryear are now replaced with the florescent street signs of all-you-can-eat buffets and late night peep shows. This picture was taken as we passed the NBC studios tour shop window and I think it paints a very powerful picture of a lonely performer that used to be in the living room of every child in the world on a weekly basis but who's fractured heart simply gave up when he lost his beloved Jim to cancer and then Fozzie's overdose coming so soon after.

I caught up with Rolf in Boston, where he now plays piano into the early hours of the morning at Ray's Late Night Liquor Emporium. He doesn't like to talk about the old times much but if a stranger puts enough money in the jar or enough whiskey in his glass, he can still recount a story or two from those heady days when the house lights went up.

It's a long way from Miss Piggy's current stint in Las Vegas, bolstered by the now infamous sex tape and her rebirth into internet stardom from the huge Fan-base in Japan.

The rest of the gang were harder to find but from bits and pieces I managed to scrape together news of the others. Scooter now runs a reasonably successful IT company in San Francisco where he lives with his husband Raul. Swedish Chef is now sous chef at Jamie Oliver's 15 but spend his nights I'm told, throwing darts at pictures of his blubber lipped boss and finding new and dangerous ways to destroy his multitude of condescending cook books.

We all know Sam the American Eagle is still recovering from the stroke he had after the whole scandal of the unsavoury images they found on his hard drive whilst he was running for governor or California but the massive success of Sweetum's online dating business for the oversized was a welcome high point in this troubled age.
 

Whilst you'll still see Gonzo now and again on Letterman or Leno, you'd have to say the sparkle has dulled from seeing him eat a rubber tyre to the sounds of Flight of the Bumblebee for the 73rd time.

 

Many column inches have been filled with the off the rails antics of Animal, and most could honestly say they saw him heading the same way as the late great Fozzie but after the Doctors had finally correctly diagnosed his ADHD, and with the help of Ritolin to suppress his outbursts, he know currently resides as an Executive Office Manager at Waldorf & Statler after being offered the role by two elderly gentlemen that used to come to watch the show on occasion. On team nights out, all the staff are often entertained by his tall tales of rock'n'roll band life.

Dr Teeth now runs a studio in the Valley churning out a steady stream of new Disney channel ready teen tripe for the masses, with old hands from the electric mayhem still wheeled in to lay down the hollowed teenybob nonsense we get bombarded with on a daily basis.
 

Dr Bunsen and Beaker now own nearly half of the San Fernando Valley real estate market after the success of selling their infamous discovery Viagra to Phizer in the early nineties and their faces regularly look down on you from the billboards of downtown LA.
 

The rumours of a reunion seem to hang constantly in the air but nothing ever seems to come to light for a major project but as Kermit told me on our last meeting "People may have come and gone but the memories of those nights behind the red velvet curtain will live on for eternity."

So until it's again time to start the music or light the lights this is Goodnight for now.

Fozzie Bear RIP

1957-1992