Spleenvent: March 2011

Mission Statement: A Dream Wot I had In The Bath...

As I get older I find myself slowly turning into a curmudgeonly old fuck. 10 to the power of my old man and full of verbal venom that could match the acid blood of Ridley Scott's 'Alien'.

After being told for the billionth time to "Cheer the fuck up!" and finding my decent into being a 36 year old Piss Biscuit too much to bare I decided to start a website to exorcise my demonic tirades, ousting my dark thoughts from my cramped and troubled mind into small ablutions released out into the Interweb instead of my ever decreasing personal audience.

The only rule I can think of is that it has to be no holds barred. Nothing should be considered too serious, silly or surreal. Not deliberately shocking for the sake of sensationalism but just without the PC restraints of the everyday everyman (and Woman Reg!) whoever he/she is!

Great! Now it seems i have set up a website simply to offend homaphrodite Policemen? Anyway you get my point.

Be it a topic of sex, race, religion or any other taboo topic of the day I feel people need to release their anger and frustration or even miniscule annoyances to empty their tortured souls and free themselves of thoughts they simply don't wish to keep in order to be happier, healthier and all round better human beings.

And i don't mean that in a tree hugging, Tofu, Steiner School kind of way. I mean simply ridding ourselves of evil and enjoying the best we can be . . .

Just like Evangelical Christians except funnier and without having to be a guileless prick that can't handle the thought that they don't know all the answers to life's big questions so they'd much rather believe a book what some bloke wrote than have to wrestle the conscience of the brain cell vacant shit melon that rests on their weary sloped shoulders.

But enough of that! I'll save that for another time.

So I'll start venting and let's see what happens? Like listening to the Blues when you're depressed it might bring the cathartic solemn of sharing woes that results in mind altering clarity and hope or . . .

It might end up inciting mass riots in the streets and a 3 year jail sentence? . .

Let's find out....

Friday, March 18, 2011

For The St Patrick Day Hungover